The shower head sputtered something fierce at the exact moment I started peeing and it freaked me out for half a second before I started laughing so fucking hard.
I wonder if colored/glittery tampon strings have been patented yet. I just want to use the term “tampon chic”.
tatertwats replied to your post: Carlos asked me what I want for my birthday, to… when’s your birthday exactly? March third.
Carlos asked me what I want for my birthday, to which I replied “I don’t know,” then he asked if I just wanted to go shopping. He is an angel. That’s probably all I’m gonna do for the big one nine (ha.) because scenarios involving school friends and home friends and boyfriend just play out awkward in my head. Mom’s going to London that night so I can at least...
Carlos’ dad made flan the other day and put pink food coloring in it, so when we sat down for dessert, Carlos whispered in my ear, “tubby custard!” and I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to actually eat it.
I am going to see The Adjustment Bureau so I can look at John Slattery for two hours and NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME
christmasmiracle: I made a single-serving blog because how could I not? !!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous asked: http://www.drugstore.com/va-j-j-visor-womens-protection-made-wiser/qxp201191
How did they get them off Staten Island??
All these P.S.22 kids look so drunk, what’s going on here. Also, if I were that young and surrounded by so many sexy older men, I would have fucking fainted. I still might.
i've never even heard of the king's peach.
I’m debating whether I want to turn my sevens into shorts….
nowah-deactivated20130420 asked: champagne in the ass = you are the best tumblr
I am not used to being this tired what is going on. I hate to think that I have to choose between work and tumblr :( :( :( :(
I play a game with tumblr, where I hit the next page button and try to ‘heart’ things before the next page loads. I lose a lot.
Sooooooooo, they had me fill out employee-type papers today, so I’m definitely hired. And now I’m here waiting for the very last client to finish up, hoping that it won’t run too late because I need to catch the 8:15 bus.
Anonymous asked: What's your favorite Radiohead song of all time?
I listened to one song off King of Limbs and it was terrible and I’m really afraid to listen to the rest of it. A friend of mine compared it to Kid A and that doesn’t bode well for me and this album. My favorite Radiohead song ever is on Kid A, but other than that and a few others, the album doesn’t resonate with me at all. I don’t even want to post this because a lot of...
John Galliano's been canned???? →
That’s a link. Click it.
Hold me closer, tony danzzzzaaaaaaaa.
madpunishmentwheel-deactivated2 asked: Should I ask you to follow me back? Ah, I guess I already did.
You fucking pretzels Are ruining my chex mix Please GTFO
reallykatie: Things were not looking so great for Schmalbert last week. She had pretty much stopped eating, spent most of her time laying on the floor giving us plaintive looks, and just generally lost all her spark. She’s 13 years old, so we all assumed that dear old Schmalbs was coming to the end of her road and started preparing ourselves to say goodbye. As part of my goodbye, I wanted to...
My mom won’t let me throw freshly steeped teabags in the garbage anymore because “they smell like afterbirth.”
You keep telling yourself that.
imnotheretomakefriends: yellowasian replied to your post: I know I’m behind on this. scuuuusssee, asian pears are by far superior bouquetoffruits.com/gra… No one on the face of the planet would admit, let alone think, that their favorite fruit is a pear. It’s just a bland, soft, deformed apple. If they do, it’s because they think it’s the ‘hip’ thing to do. Pears are such grainy-ass bitch...
Catching up on week/weekend happenings. I had a flashback so bad I barfed and probably should see a shrink but won’t! Also, the new Revlon insta-dry polish is really great and really does dry-insta(ntly). Another thing: lol@protein bar packaging like “SYNTHA-6: decadence” and “ELITE HARDCORE: gourmet”. Alton Brown said to put a pinch of salt in coffee to cut...
The other night I drank a whole bottle of champagne by myself and felt great and deserving of a small medal, but then drunkenly measured the volume in relation to a beer bottle (it only fits just over two of them) and felt not so cool. Okay.
Today a friend of mine introduced me to the wonderful world of R. Kelly lyrics. The way you’re scratching me I’m a lion In this jungle I’m a king Girl, I got you so wet It’s like a rain forest Like Jurassic Park Except I’m your sex-a-saurus baby From “The Zoo”
Okay, so I almost have a job at this swanky downtown salon and I’m really excited but the manager intimidates me because she’s Fronshe and her name is Mylene but she pronounces it “Milan” and oh jesus.
had my first colonoscopy” “about 10 minutes ago”...– my dad
rip-paigesblog asked: HI RACHEL. HERE ARE SOME POSITIVITY WAVES~~~~~~~~~~
There is really nothing that makes me rage more than people making dumbass comments about my chest. See also: trying to throw shit down my shirt. If you do this I will mentally shove your face into a fucking blender. ^^^
One of the most terrifying dreams I had as a child involved being kidnapped by the dognappers from 101 Dalmatians. Another took place completely in the stained glass history of the Beast scene from Beauty and the Beast. This reminds me of that one time I tried salvia (NEVER again) and everything felt like shards of mirror glass. My mouth felt like it was full of sharp edges and everything looked...
Things I have never thought before watching this ep. of SVU: Debra Messing looks really hot.