February 2011
My problem is that I like a lot of things, but I don’t like things a lot.
8)
0)
1 tag
How the fuck do you open up a watch? I need to draw “sculpturally interesting utilitarian objects” and I want these fucking gears but I can’t find any way to get them out besides banging on it with a hammer.
You Thought We Wouldn't Notice →
Fucking plagiarism. Ugh.
knicker-bocker:
girlyoulion:
15 minutes into my first philosophy class. The prof had just explained the etymology of “philosophy,” from the Greek “philia” (love) and “sophia” (wisdom) when some wise-ass in the back raises his hand and says, “uhhhhh but isn’t philias somethin’ bad…. like necrophilia and uh pedophilia”. My head hit the desk. This should be fun.
Is your Professor’s name...
joaniepepperoni:
Do you ever see something a guy writes on the internet and just want to scream because HE WAS ONE OF TWO PEOPLE YOU EVER SENT PICTURES OF YOUR BOOBS TO?
I hope none of you guys have a cupcake tattoo because I’m about to say that cupcake tattoos are possibly the dumbest shits I have ever seen.
January 2011
15 minutes into my first philosophy class. The prof had just explained the etymology of “philosophy,” from the Greek “philia” (love) and “sophia” (wisdom) when some wise-ass in the back raises his hand and says, “uhhhhh but isn’t philias somethin’ bad…. like necrophilia and uh pedophilia”. My head hit the desk. This should be fun.
thatwhitebitch:
I get SO MUCH PLEASURE from the Red Eye’s (our local free paper) Facebook feed. Today they asked people to name the upcoming blizzard.
The weird blog unfollowed me and a new weird one took its place.
“There’s this band and I think I’m into them though at this point I’m not sure because I’ve only heard 1.5 songs.” <- text I just sent to Carlos
Sometimes I think I take relationships with bands way more seriously than I do my relationships with people.
lostlittlesputnik asked: Oui, but I can't talk to you or Christian in math because I will fail and that's not an option. Actually, who am I kidding, I can't not goof around in a math class, lol remember Ranzer's class? Blueberries!
Part two:
I’ve been to wakes before. No problem. I’m not saying that they went unnoticed, but seeing as though I’ve only been to those of ancient relatives and family friends, I would spend the time completely silent, feeling not upset, but awkward. Like I should have been doing something to the effect of mourning, but all I could concentrate on was making sure I didn’t laugh. The adults around me,...
From the archives:
College apps.
Prompt: Evaluate a significant risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and discuss its impact on you. (500 words or less)
Standing over the boxy wire trap in our backyard, my brother and I peered in at the matted mess of fur and dirt that sat bracing itself against a corner. “Her name is Rocky,” I said, and tried to poke my fingers through the mesh to pet her. I...
I have a blister on the ball of my foot, what a fucking irresponsible blister. Why would you establish yourself there, sir. You are in my way.
attackshipsonfire:
“I’ve woken up, I’m in our bed, but there’s no breathing body there beside me. Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep. But I know better as my eyes adjust; you’ve been gone for quite a while now, and I don’t work there in the hospital. They had to let me go. When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift. I think you buried me awake. (My one and...
After weeks of using a really dull razor,
mandysaid:
I finally remembered to buy a new pack at the store and AHHHHH. The whole time I was shaving I couldn’t stop obsessing over how smooth my legs were getting. It was a totally magical time.
But apparently I was getting so into my leg-shaving with my sharp new razor that I totally overlooked the fact that I was pretty much TEARING OFF THE TOP LAYER OF MY SKIN and now I’m bleeding out of...
I really love my dad, but I’m a lot happier living with my mom. We have a better relationship this way, and I think it’s just better for both of us.
“You can see this beautiful golden fat that’s coming out. Very clean, no...”
– Dr. Dubrow (Bridalplasty)
1 tag
Weird things my dad has done before they were socially acceptable in the Western World:
Neti nasal irrigation
Owned a hive of bees
Used Manuka honey instead of neosporin
Grew stevia plants
Made his own soy milk (fucking gross process)
African Tooth Sticks
There was also this time that he tried to cure my sick hamster with Tea Tree Oil. It died the next day, and he was so distraught about...
pppaaaiiigggeee:
One time my brother accidentally ate the pits of a few cherries and my mother told him a cherry tree was going to grow out of his butt.
He started hysterically crying and my mother could not stop laughing.
One time I stepped on a nail and my dad told me I was going to get tetanus if I didn’t get a bunch of really scary shots in my butt. This was when I first discovered...
booze-e-badazz asked: where do you go to school?
rip-paigesblog asked: You have school tomorrow. Drink a glass of warm milky wilky and go sleepies rayray.
Help me forget that I have school tomorrow. →
pppaaaiiigggeee replied to your post: I wonder if Pink ever gets tired of being a riot…
she is pregnant. she should chill out
BABY PINK
I wonder if Pink ever gets tired of being a riot grrl and just wants to take a bubble bath and relax.
if i had a time machine
synecdoche:
the first thing i would do is go back to 1995 and change my house’s answering machine to the hook of “spiderwebs” by no doubt.
and then i would use the time machine to kill hitler or something but y’know, important things first.
I did that in seventh grade and pretty much thought I was the. coolest.
“if you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the...”
– david sedaris.
Never in my life have I been as terrified as the day when I first laid eyes on a “female condom”.
“Am I a good person? Deep down, do I even really want to be a good person, or do...”
– Consider the Lobster: And Other Essays by David Foster Wallace (via thechocolatebrigade)
1 tag
So tired of seeing articles about how women are such fragile creatures and don’t fuck them too hard because they’ll cry! shut up. shut. up.
I’m catching up on Bridalplasty on some random-ass website because for who knows what reason my DVR just… didn’t record the last two weeks. I’ll have to investigate.
But anyway, Jenessa needs to get punched in the nose.
It doesn’t have an ask box, it must be a bot.
I think it’s a bot.
I just got followed by the most bizarre blog. I’m genuinely confused.
2 tags
Watchacetylcholine:
ladolcemalattia:
if i could choose what to watch on my death bed, this would be it
One of my absolute favorite scenes from 30 Rock!!
THIS IS MY FAVORITE EVER I WILL WATCH IT AGAIN ON VALENTINES DAY
AND ALL THE OTHER DAYS
rip-paigesblog asked: Please start calling your self "the Michelangelo of brows" SCULPT AWAY MY FRIEND.
Gonna reply to it. TIme for some fun.
